Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
