What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
