I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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