You can't motorboat a personality
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
