Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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