I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
