does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
