Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
