I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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