My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
