Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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