went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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