I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
