People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
