Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
