Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I forgot how hot balto sounded
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
