hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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