So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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