dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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