I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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