I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
