I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
