that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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