You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My feet surprised me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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