We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
