I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
