What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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