one might say we're banned from that church
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
