Pappa wants mamma naked
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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