is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dignity is for republicans.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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