is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
