try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
