in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
