there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
do nipples grow back?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
