Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize