I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
