Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
