Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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