All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
