Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
