I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
