Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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