do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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