A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
