That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
