awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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