the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
