There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
