yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
