I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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