tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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