New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
