haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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